Larry Penkava, columnist for the Asheboro, North Carolina Courier-Tribune, reports that a team of Bigfoot investigators dropped by his office recently to announce their arrival and intentions.

“A team that calls itself Searching for Bigfoot, Incorporated, was here last weekend in an attempt to bait the legendary Sasquatch out of hiding in the Uwharrie National Forest,” stated Mr. Penkava.

“I learned that a crew swept clean an area of forest, set up a video camera in a tree trunk, and dangled a jar of peanut butter with twine from a tree, high enough to be out of reach of deer and raccoons. So far, no results have been reported.”

Folks around here are still laughing at the hapless team. Everyone in Bunkum County knows that if you want to lure the Piss-gah skunk ape, peanut butter alone just won’t do. We usually go to the forest and set a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on some rickety picnic table. Over the years, Bunkumites have tried everything from muscadine grape jelly to wild strawberry jam and have settled on marmalade. It works every time!

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